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Self Confidence

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Quote of the Day

"Fortunate is the person who has developed the self-control to steer a straight course towards his objective in life, without being swayed from his purpose by either commendation or condemnation."

Napoleon Hill

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

How to Communicate Confidently

One thing common to all great communicators is that when they speak, everybody listens.

However, communicating to people is one of the greatest fears for most of the human beings, and especially when it comes to public speaking. Most people dread public speaking more than death! Do you ever wonder why you don’t seem to get listened to by others even though you too have many ideas to share? Then read on, this article is just for you.

Confident communication however, is more than what you speak. It takes into account your body language as well.

What’s inside the mind of a Successful Communicator?

Confident communicators aren’t a know all

Of course, you need to have good knowledge about the subject you are talking about, but what actually matters is not what you say, but how you say it. Successful people don’t do different things, they do things differently. The first step is to believe in what you say. You must be fully convinced in the idea and only then will there be conviction in the tone of your voice. Your voice now is equipped with the power to hold people’s attention. Once you have conviction in your voice, and what you speak is useful for the other people and it actually helps them or gives some credible information, you get appreciation. This certainly peps up your self-confidence!

Confident communicators don’t let people make them nervous

Most people suffer from fearing catastrophes that never happen. Most people tend to make a very high imaginary impression of other people in their minds.
So much so that their mind starts believing that other people are perfect. This creates an unfair comparison between their own personality and the imaginary personality of other people that they create. This thinking breeds a fear of meeting and talking to other people. It lowers their confidence and they fear what it will be to meet and talk to these “perfect” people. However, in real life nobody is perfect and you must realize this. Everybody has their own set of faults and weaknesses. It’s important for you to realize that every human being is essentially imperfect. This will give you greater confidence to go out and face people.

Take it or leave it. You snooze, you lose

Ideally you must be the best of your moods and carry a pleasant demeanor when you go out and meet people. However, it might not always be possible and it may so happen that you are not fully prepared to communicate, or you are a little tense over some other matter.

A confident communicator, though, develops an ability to keep control of his emotions. This quality helps the communicator to keep control of the situation. You may still not be in a good moodb but you must make sure that you keep indecisiveness at bay.

Your indecision will fritter away your focus and energy and you fail to make any impact. If you decide to communicate. Be yourself, have faith in yourself and go ahead.

Mind your body language

Your gesture, postures and eye contact probably talk louder than your words. Body language cuts across all barriers of communication such as language, time, place, knowledge and so on. Your body language starts getting interpreted unconsciously by everyone around. People start forming impressions about you the moment you make an eye contact and body language certainly contributes a considerably large part of the impression you make.

A few facts you must know

You may have a sad expression on your face because of some other matter, but the person
you are talking to may feel that you don’t approve what he says, leading to misunderstanding.

A steady gaze may convey intensity, anger, aggression or strong interest. Little eye contact
may imply lack of confidence or shyness.

Open hands may convey honesty and openness; however, making a lot of hand gestures
might mean that you are being nervous.

Confident communication, including words and gestures, is something that you do not perfect in a day. You must grab every opportunity to communicate. Try to check your communication skills, your strong points and the mistakes you make along with the overall affect on the other person. Try to learn from your experiences and there is no reason why you can’t make it.

Get going. Good luck!

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Quote of the Day

"Success often comes to those who dare to act.
It seldom goes to the timid who
are ever afraid of the consequences.

Jawaharlal Nehru

Public Speaking with Self Confidence

Public speaking can be a rewarding experience that allows individuals to showcase their skills or knowledge in a public forum. Public speaking opportunities can allow an individual to help enrich the lives of anyone in the audience by impressing experiences or information that can have life changing qualities.

That being said, many individuals suffer extreme shyness or nervousness when faced with public speaking situations.

These situations can range from large audiences of hundreds or thousands of participants to rooms with a few people present. Regardless of the situation, ensuring you have the proper level of public speaking self confidence will aid you remarkably in this foray.

When it comes to public speaking, possessing self confidence is a must.
If you find your self confidence low or nonexistent, the best way to boost it up is to practice, practice, practice.

Individuals with high self confidence have an ingrained sense that they can handle any and all situations, regardless who is watching or listening.

These individuals are well versed in their specific subject matter and have a good idea of how they are going to present the information so that the audience will have the greatest understanding.

Additionally, these individuals are capable of fielding questions on their particular subject and can explain the topic on several different levels. If you find yourself unable to do this, begin preparing for your public speaking opportunity at once.

Ensure your knowledge in the topic is high and seek out to learn as much as you can. This knowledge will help you indefinitely in both planning your speech and delivering the speech to an audience of individuals who may or may not be familiar with it.

Furthermore, in depth knowledge of your subject will aid you immensely when dealing with question and answer sessions that most likely will follow any public speaking opportunity. If necessary, ask other individuals about your topic and be able to explain the topic to individuals of all levels.

When writing your speech, take care to analyze your audience. If you are speaking to individuals who have a great understanding of the topic, you can clearly use a more in depth approach, more acronyms, and more jargon than if speaking to an audience unfamiliar with the subject.

Furthermore, know the average age and educational extent of your audience in order to create a speech that will speak directly to these individuals.

After you have written your speech, being making notes and prompts to that use can use when giving your speech in public. Knowing your speech is written to the best of your ability will boost your self confidence, as will having the necessary notes and prompts that you can rely on while giving your speech.

When preparing for your speech, take care to not memorize the content. This may seem like a good idea, but can lead to disasterous results. If you find yourself to be nervous before you present any project or speech to a public audience, you might forget the content of your speech and be forced to pull it together from memory.

Additionally, if you leave out a specific idea or topic from your speech, your audience may not clearly understand the topic of point of your presentation. The best way to prepare for your speech is to make notes that allow cues or special points you should make in your speech.

Have a general idea of what you plan to say and ensure the content covers these points. Also, have any visual materials carefully arranged in the order of presentation so that you will remember to include all items seamlessly in your presentation.

Public speaking should not produce a crisis, and ensuring your self confidence is high in yourself and your capabilities will make all the difference in the quality of your presentation.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Quote of the day

"Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.
Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade.
Your mind will seek to develop the picture."

Vincent Peale

Dating with Confidence

Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating (usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level, or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and there are many, most people want to make a good first impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very nature. Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.
How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.

First Things First
A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead. Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.

Be Yourself
Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway. So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.

Get Out of Yourself
To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do--get to know someone else better. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.

Try Something Different
If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving. If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.