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Self Confidence

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Quote of the day

"Confidence can get you where you want to go, and getting there is a daily process.
It’s so much easier when you feel good about yourself, your abilities and talents."

Donald Trump

Friday, March 10, 2006

Cornerstones of Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is something that all of us need if we have to do well in life. It gives us the courage to face the most difficult of situations, something which cannot be said of people who lack self-confidence. They often break down in front of challenges.

The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.

You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce. So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.

Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook. Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.

Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds. However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.

At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence..

In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depends on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.

Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.

If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Check Your Confidence Levels

Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully. A mere wish to be confident won't take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on. To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company's efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings - being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don't Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life. The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

Here are some more questions you may answer.

1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible. It's important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

Wishing you the best,
Thomas Bekkar

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Building Your Self-Confidence at Work

Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake. Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem. You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers. Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior. In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house. Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results. Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

Ten Tips to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an important key to success in any walk of life. People with self-confidence are noticed more. They achieve their goals relatively easily. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence often end up being losers. You too need to build your self-confidence if you want to do well in life. Here are ten tips that can help you build that elusive self-confidence:

1. Self-confidence is found in people who have a healthy self-esteem. They know their personal worth, and act accordingly. A good way to improve your personal worth is to make a list of your accomplishments every day. You will be surprised to know how many positive acts you perform every day in life, but which you don’t notice. Once you start looking at this list, your self-confidence will boom.

2. Be clear about your goals. If need be, break your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Pat yourself every time you achieve a minor goal. It will boost you’re a self-confidence, and help you achieve bigger goals.

3. Find a mentor who can help you reach your goal. Most people, who have done well in life, have a mentor who has traveled the same road on which they are traveling today. Meet your mentor regularly, and seek his advice and support as a routine. You will find that you are learning something valuable every day.

4. Socialize with people who are positive and supportive, who like and respect you. Give them the same support and respect that they give you. Avoid people who are negative and critical of you. Such people erode your self-confidence. They make you look at your negative self, and not your positive self. After some time, you get enveloped in their cynical and negative world-view. Nothing can be more damaging than that. Dump such friends as soon as you can.

5. Pay attention to how you look. Take pleasure in wearing good clothes and being well groomed. It makes you feel good. People too look at you differently. Remember that every human being wants to be found in the company of smart, intelligent, successful people. You can soon be a centre of attraction if you radiate a positive, smart look. It can very easily make the difference between success and failure.

6. Don’t be afraid of failures. Take them in your stride and move on. Say to yourself that you will succeed the next time. Never make the mistake of allowing your failures to overwhelm you. They will force you into a shell, and destroy your self-confidence. A better way is to shrug your failures as something inconsequential, and take on a new challenge. Of course, you must learn from your mistakes, and be realistic about your abilities. People who try to over-reach often fall down. You should not allow that to happen in the name of self-confidence.

7. Keep yourself fit by exercising regularly and controlling your diet. A fit and healthy person is much more active and achieves more in his career. Physical fitness, like self-confidence, glows on your face.

8. Have a wide range of interests, and take an active interest in what’s going on in the world. Meet and talk to a lot of people. Don’t focus all your attention only on your work and on your problems. Divert your attention to new interests, and new tasks. This will keep your mind happily occupied, and boost your self-confidence.

9. Take part in activities that you are good at. You may have excelled at things in the past and then given them up due to lack of time. Return to those activities again and see your self-confidence grow.

10. Pick up a new hobby or craft that interests you. It will keep you occupied. It will also increase your self-confidence as you become more skilled in it.

Try to practice these tips as faithfully as you can, and see the difference in your life.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Building Self Esteem

Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one. Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life. Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else. The same goes for self esteem. The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self esteem is you. Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

People have low esteem for a variety of reasons. Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance. Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise. For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem. Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble. However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly.

Many individuals look for help for their low self esteem in books or seminars. The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues. Check out your local library or book store and explore their “self help” section for a book that you may find helpful. It is quite unlikely you will find the answers to all your problems in a book, but you may find it helpful to know others are in your same boat and you are certainly not alone. Additionally, you may wish to seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem. Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process. Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed. Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.

A main factor in self esteem is negativity. Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self esteem. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem. Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth. Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work. Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her. Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem. Strive to surround yourself with positive people. If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group. Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues. These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today! Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while. You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping. Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

The Minds Power and Inner Peace

The influence of hopefulness is far more powerful than pessimism. When a person searches for inner peace, they must come to terms with the mind and emotions. Pessimism is thinking negative, which leads to chaos of the emotions, whereas optimism is positive thinking that leads to power of the mind. Optimism is the mechanism known as self-assurance, which makes a person feel hopeful.

When a person feels hopeful, they have the power of the mind to demonstrate positive attitudes to others and self. Optimistic persons reflect their winning personalities on others, thus illustrating positive forces to society. When people notice positive people the feel confident and at peace since the world is full of negative thinkers that bring forth stress and stressors that fill the emotions.

When a person has a positive mind that have a peace of mind, which goes along way in relationships, work, education, et cetera, which brings us to education.

A person willing to learn and compare is willing to go to lengths to free the mind of lies. Lies from the beginning of time have proven to cause harm to self and others. The first lie ever told brought forth the sin of the world, thus from that time all humankind have suffered from the single lie that lead to millions of lies throughout the universe.

As you can see, influences have started a scrambled way of thinking for many minds, thus unscrambling the mind is the only way to finding inner peace. Thus, freeing the mind of guilt is clearing the mind of lies, or other harmful thoughts that trap the mind in a web of entangled emotions.

This is where education comes in, since when a person learns the person grows and overtime the reward is coming to grips with self. Coming to grips with self includes finding peace within and learning to be comfortable with you.

Some people feel that they need a soul mate to find inner peace. Once the relationship starts and progresses they find them, self frustrated from the pain and suffering that comes along with love. Thus, finding inner peace is learning to love your self, which includes living comfortable alone or with someone else.

You need to feel comfortable with self and being alone before you can learn to love someone else. The influence of positive thinking proves healthy in relationships and families.

One of the hardest roads I had to cross to find my inner peace is the struggle I lived in life to escape a family filled with lies. After finding my inner peace, I learned that no one could take that away from, since I lived, learned, and walked the path to clearing emotions, guilt, shame, and other harmful obstacles placed on my emotions. Thus, I fought to make the truths become apparent to others, and the gift that helped me along the path was education, but most of all writing my stories and telling the world.

When a person is in contact with self-positive results will arrive. The person may experiences turbulence along the journey of life, but instead of allowing that turbulence to take away the inner peace, they will stand up in their complete suit of armor and battle again.

Constructing a mind of positive thinking is never easy in a fast-paced world. The trick is holding true to your faith and associating only with those willing to work to meet their goals and fill their dreams.

If you have the skill and gift of gab, then associating with negative people will be controlled when these people enter your life. One of the detestable obstacles for me, is dealing with pessimistic people, or else dealing with people full of hate and prejudice. After living through a living hell and having the ability to think positive, fill my dreams, and go for my goals, I find it difficult to believe that those negative thinkers with less tragic lives can continue life living on emotional thinking.

Still, I realize these people have not found their inner peace. The gift of finding inner peace takes work, thus starting now will get you closer to your inner peace.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

How to Boost Confidence Using The Power of Words

Words alone may seem insignificant or useless. However, if you put words into action, then you have a powerhouse. It may seem that words are worthless if not for action. There's no doubt action is important; but without words, action is not possible also. Words are the sources of actions and they originate from the mind.

How do you pack power in words such as "You can do it," "Believe in yourself," or "Keep on?" Have you ever been to a basketball game? The audience shows their support to their home team by shouting "Defense!" when their opponents have the ball. Their repeated chant of "defense" is aimed to inspire the home team. The word targets each of the hometown players on the hard court to go for the win.

The same thing is true when you repeatedly chant positive and inspiring words like "I can do it," "I know I can," "Just hang on," or "Don't give up." Talk to yourself. Be persistent to yourself. Do this several times a day or every time you encounter difficulties in your life.

When you repeatedly say inspiring words to yourself, you are in essence building the foundation of positive thoughts into your mind so that there is no room left for negative thinking. When positive thoughts are rooted or anchored in your mind, words relevant to these thoughts will be your driving force to lead you to a successful life. Your actions will be dependent on the words implanted in your thoughts. For as long as you persevere in keeping these positive words into your thoughts and keep recalling them faithfully, there's no way you will turn back to your negative habits.

Words can trigger action to a host of other activities. Words can persuade or dissuade. For instance, you are one of the spectators of an ongoing demonstration against a company being accused of polluting the environment. You may be persuaded into joining the demonstrators who are trying to protect the environment. If you are environmental-conscious, it's possible you'll be joining their cause. Your decision could be based on the way they explain their purpose. Moreover, the words chosen to persuade somebody like you to join have a lot to do with your decision to join them. Those words may have triggered a soft spot in your heart, making you care enough to join the cause without any expectation of reward or favor in return.

The relationship between husband and wife is bound by the words "I love you." Everything between them starts with these three simple but powerful words. Without these three words, marriage between a man and a woman might not have been possible.

Communication and expression of affection require the use of words. Choosing the right words to relay a message is important, so that the exact meaning can be relayed correctly.

Choose the words you say because they will serve as the background of all the actions that you have to take. Ultimately, your success will depend on them, so make sure that these words are well selected.

The Hidden Superpowers Of Your Mind

The mind is an infinite wonder. It has the fantastic ability to
transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can
do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you have the
belief and will power to back it up.

Take the case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills.
These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities.
So how did they get well?

The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these
pills contain the highest amounts of cancer-fighting ingredients
which can effectively cure them in a matter of days.

See how powerful your mind is?

They believed that their health will be restored. They have
registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of
their illnesses. In the process, the belief embedded within
their subconscious came to reality.

So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One of the
most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle.

Act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as if you are
already in possession of whatever you long to have.

So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor,
athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll
be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with
your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean
that if you want to be Superman you'll fly out the window. Not
a good idea!

It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually
ACT. Do what needs to be done. You might get so lost in your
fantasy dream world that you've forgotten to take some action.
Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your

The problem with the people of the modern world is that they
are too preoccupied with worries, anxieties, and negative
emotions. As a result, they are adversely affecting their
state of health.

White lies have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the
burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought
are unattainable.

There was once a weightlifter who couldn't lift weights in excess
of 300 lbs. So his coach devised a clever idea and told him that
the barbell he has to carry weighs only 300 lbs. With all his
might, the weightlifter managed to put it above his head. After
he puts it down, the coach told him that he has just lifted 350
lbs. of weight! It's all in the mind!

A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you
can't, you're right."

If you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly
condition your thoughts to the positive mindset. I know it's
hard to think rich if your environment is not conducive to
such way of thinking. Use your imagination then! Visualize
your house to be a mansion, your old car to be a limousine,...
Well you get the picture.

There is absolutely no limit with what the mind can achieve. But
you have to combine belief, will power, and action with positive
thinking in order to arrive at your intend

How To Start, Survive, and Finish Your Journey To Super Success

"The more you hate, the more you love."

What an ironic statement. Whoever said those words must
have been drunk. The bottom line is this: It is extremely
difficult to like or love something that you despise.

But what can we do to solve this dilemma? What if you're
trapped in an environment that you don't want to be involved
in? What if you're sick and tired of your job that you
feel like puking every time someone mentions your work?

Of course, you take inspired and motivated action to
get out of your present rut and start living the life
you've always dreamed of.

Guess what? It's not going to be easy. You will have to
come out of your comfort zones to discover potentials and
opportunities waiting for you. You have to conquer your
fear and take calculated risks. You have to stay focused
and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

Success doesn't come easy. It takes heart and passion. It
may also take some time before you can actually reap the
fruits of your labor.

But how do you actually survive this stage? This is the
moment when you're working extra hard to reach your goals.
This is also the instance when you're enduring whatever
adversity hits you.

For example, you're employed in a job that you hate. You
know deep inside that you would not like to stay in the
rat race throughout your life. So you decided to engage
in a part-time business or to study night courses. Good
move, my friend.

So far so good. A few days later, time started running
out for you. Your family complains that you've never
spoken a word to them in such a long time. You're
getting crazy over your very hectic schedule. Soon
enough, your attitude changes negatively. You get mad
and frustrated over the tiniest setbacks. You hate the
world for all the misery it has brought upon you.

Stop right now!

That is not the way to go. You are attracting negative
elements into your life. Yes, you have to work harder,
dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions.
But no, you don't have to hate the world and feel bad
about your difficult situation. Remember the Law of
Attraction. If you hate the world, the world hates you

So what do you have to do?

Learn to love your current situation. See all the
positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your
boss, your coworkers, your family, your friends, and
even strangers that you meet on the streets. It may
not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong
will power. Just don't fall in love so much that you
totally forget about your dreams.

Balance is the key. Dream and take some positive
action to move you toward your goals. Take it one
step at a time. But while you're slowly crawling into
the long journey to success, be patient and be as
enthusiastic as possible. Don't hurry up too much that
you totally forget how to enjoy life.

One fine day, you will finally attain what you have
always longed for. But when that day comes, don't
spit back on the face of those who belittled you

Stay humble. Don't look down on others when you see
that you are becoming more successful than they are.
Help them. Inject your positive aura into their
personalities. When you give, you will yield back
equal or greater rewards.

Are you ready to begin the journey? Start it with
the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive
and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and
positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang
of accomplishment and with the desire to help others
succeed as well.

To your success

Thomas Bekkar